Two Week Wait

Now that the transfer is over, there is nothing to do but wait. And wait. And then wait some more.

This is the dreaded two week wait, or TWW for those of us in the thick of this. Thankfully when you transfer a 5-day old embryo, the wait is only 10 days. But because my transfer was on a Thursday, and Day 10 falls on a Sunday, I have to wait until Day 11 to go in and test. 

So Monday will be my beta. I probably won’t share either way right away, so don’t be surprised if you don’t hear from me on Monday. 

I’m not going to pee on a stick (POAS) before either. I’ve peed on so many sticks and had them come up stark white, very obviously negative, that I don’t want to do that to myself. It is an added mindfuck in this whole mindfucky process that I just don’t need. If I pee and it’s negative, I’ll convince myself it’s wrong and then if it really is negative, I’ll be just as devastated when they call with the blood results. So for me, it’s best to just wait and see what the blood test says. The blood test can detect levels of HCG (the pregnancy hormone) that home pregnancy tests can’t.

I’m trying to keep my mind off of it as much as possible. Which is easier said than done. Thankfully working for GrubHib in the evenings is a welcome distraction.

I’m on tons of progesterone, to make my uterus sticky and keep that baby in there. In the mornings is a shot of progesterone in oil (PIO), injected into the muscle of my butt/hip. It’s pretty unpleasant, mostly because it is such a huge needle! 

But also because it is in oil, so you have to massage it because otherwise you’ll get knots. And injecting into a knot? REALLY UNPLEASANT. 

I alternate sides, although over the weekend I did it two days in a row on the same side and I’m still sore from that. But I think I’ve come up with the best routine with them, which includes using my foam roller to help massage out the knots. It seems to be working OK so far. I’ve been on these for almost two weeks (and will continue until week 12 of my pregnancy if it is positive). 

There is also an oral progesterone pill and then big ol’ suppositories that I have to stick up my hoo hah three times a day. Which, TMI, leads to so much oozing. I am buying stock in pantyliners.

There are a lot of myths and old wives tales when it comes to trying to conceive. Two of the biggest are pomegranate juice and pineapple core. Pomegranate juice is supposed to help thicken your lining and pineapple core has bromelain, which is supposed to help with implantation. In the past, I’ve regularly had a daily glass of pomegranate juice and then after ovulation, I’ve made pineapple core smoothies. I was willing to try anything and everything.

This time I skipped all that. For one, pomegranate juice is disgusting and no amount of watering it down helps. And I also don’t like pineapple either, and smoothies was the only way I could choke it down. Honestly, the relief I felt when I decided to skip it was immense. So I figured the stress of taking those things was outweighing any supposed benefit.

One thing I do, which I do because it is big in Chinese medicine, is keeping my uterus warm. That means I’ve switched to room temperature drinks, try to consume warm foods, and keep my feet warm at all times. When your extremities are cold, blood rushes away from your uterus to warm the hands and feet. So keeping them warm keeps the blood flowing to the uterus which is a very good thing.

Which is why I also put my feet up the wall every night for 10-15 minutes to increase the blood flow to my uterus to keep it nice and warm and a place that a baby wants to be.

(Pineapple socks courtesy of Sarah, who sent me the sweetest transfer day care package.)

The womb and uterus is a sacred place in Chinese medicine. It’s the heart of a women’s body. It’s the home. So you have to care for it, even before you get pregnant. Make it a safe, loving space to nurture your baby.

I’ve also gone full hippy and also recite affirmations each night (when my legs are up the wall) and I do nightly meditations though Circle + Bloom. I’ve really discovered that the mind/body connection is real and these things help me get centered and focus and stay positive. I can feel a difference in my body and my mind when I do these things. I feel lighter and centered.

This time feels different, mostly because I’m more relaxed because I know the routine. (I’m a Virgo. Routines are my happy place.) And I’m hoping that this time IS different and that this time I am pregnant.

(And if not, I’ve got two more embryos on ice: those two that were close on Day 5 made it to blastocysts on Day 6! Although the embryologist said she felt really good about my transfer, so that we would just save these for siblings down the road.)