Random Tidbits

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As I’m sure you saw on social media, we are down to one, wonderful embryo. The biopsy of said embryo is at the lab and the results will be back in 10 business days. They got the sample last Thursday, so 10 business days puts me around March 19. So I’ve got nothing much to do but wait.

I’m anxious, but not as much as I thought because I’ve done everything I can and nothing I can do can effect the lab and their results. It’s very different from the two week wait. That’s when you know you’ve ovulated and you have to wait two weeks to find out if you’re pregnant. But then, it’s all happening in your body. And every twinge makes you wonder what is going on. You play the lovely “period or pregnancy” game. I know the two week wait when I transfer will be madness. You’ve been warned.

Someone on Facebook mentioned that this must be so stressful and you’d think it would be, but I’m oddly calm. The fact that I can share all of this with you has made this process so much easier.

I called the lab back last week after I got the word that only one made it. I wanted to know what happened with my second half of the #dynamicduo. The embryologist told me that the second one’s cells did expand and technically make it to Day 5, but the cells were of such low quality, there wasn’t a way to biopsy it and send it for testing.

I have determined that that little second embryo was just looking out for me and saving me the additional $300 it would have cost to test it, knowing it would have come back abnormal.

I also asked about the grading for the embryo that did make it, my little rock star. Most clinics rate embryos with a number and 2 letters. Mine of course doesn’t do that. The first number is basically a scale of it making it to blastocyst stage. So my lab says that since they only grade them if they make it to that stage, there’s no need to assign it a number.

For the letters, A is best, B is good and C is the lowest. The two letters correlate to the cells and how they look and how they divided and all sorts of sciency stuff that I don’t really understand. I just know A is good. My clinic doesn’t use A, B and C, they use 1, 2 and 3. So AA, or a 1,1, is the best rated embryo. You can have a BC or an AB or an AC.

My ONE-derful embryo (TM Tessa) was an AA or a 1,1. It was the best quality they could have. So I’m over the moon. My little overachiever got straight As! Just like its Virgo mother.

So I’m very pleased that I had the best quality one to test. It doesn’t guarantee anything, but odds are better that an AA embryo will come back normal as opposed to some of the other lower quality ones (not that those can’t either).

In other TMI news (go ahead and skip this if you’re not into hearing about periods), doctors should really warn you about the period after taking all these hormones. They didn’t when I did Clomid for the IUIs, and it was heavier then. But this time, holy shit. I’ve never seen so much blood. Sorry for the TMI, but between Sunday night and Tuesday morning, I was going through a tampon an hour. I bled through a tampon and an overnight pad TWICE Monday night. Sunday night I did not prepare for this and stained underwear, pajamas, sheets and mattress cover. It was like I was 13 again.

Thankfully it seems to have only been 24 hours of crime scene blood, and now we’re back to regular bleeding.

via GIPHY

Seriously, why doesn’t one doctor or nurse mention this? They tell you you’re period will come early (it did), but NOTHING about the grotesque amounts of bleeding.

I’d think it was just me, but thankfully I had heard about this from my FB groups so I was prepared for it to be bad. But not this bad.

Finally, my new thing is picking up pennies when I see them. I found one sitting on the frame of the car door of the Uber when it was taking me to one of my ultrasound appointments. I found another on the ground in the building where my doctor is. And I found one on the ground in the lobby of my office.

I’ve been putting all these in a pocket in my backpack so that they are always with me. Always carrying good luck around with me during this whole process.

I should probably stop picking these up, though, before I get the Coronavirus.

Why Not?

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I will start off with the news so that if you don’t want to read my ramblings, you don’t have to. Also, I shared this on FB and IG, so this is not probably news to anyone!

Right now one of the #DynamicDuo for sure made it to blastocyst, and will be biopsied and frozen. The embryologist said it looked “really good”! The second one is super close to blastocyst, so they are giving it one more day to make it and they will call me tomorrow with the news! But he seemed like it would happen, so since nothing is for sure in this whole process, I will need some more of that good #BumpSquad juju to get #2 to blast!

That means hopefully both will be biopsied and sent for genetic testing! That takes 10 business days, so plan for me bothering a lot of you for distraction over the next 2-3 weeks!

I am over the moon about this. Like legit Kermit arms.

via GIPHY

After I hung up the phone, I ran over to my friend, who was on the phone, and waved my Kermit arms at her and told her to get off the phone! Ha! She smartly put the person on hold while I squeeeeeed and told her the good news. Since she’s gone through this, she was well aware of this feeling.

I’m doubly over the moon because of the odds. I’m sure none of you are familiar with the IVF funnel (actually, I’m sure some of you are). Basically it’s this:

It’s basically saying that in a healthy, younger woman, you’re going to lose so many of the follicles, eggs, etc. in this process. That if you end up with 8 retrieved, it will go down to 4 fertilized, then only 2 to Day 5 blastocyst and then maybe you end up with 1 to transfer.

It’s fucking terrifying odds.

Now add someone like me into this mix. Someone who is 42, who has age-related diminished ovarian reserve, and most likely has already ovulated 75% of her usable eggs.

So now you can see why when they retrieved just 3 eggs, I was depressed. Because at that point, I remembered the funnel, and I was going to be LUCKY that one of those would end up making it to blastocyst, and the odds of that one being chromosomally normal was about 25%. Because 3 in 4 eggs in women over 40 have chromosomal issues.

But then 2 were mature and both fertilized. So I was like “OK, this is already beating the odds!” And as I was talking to my mom this weekend, I said WHY NOT? Why can’t both of these fertilized eggs make it to Day 5? And WHY NOT? Why can’t they both be chromosomally normal? WHY NOT?

And that has been my mantra, and will continue to be as I go on this process. Because why not? Why not me? Why not my eggs? I’ve done all I can to ensure their health, and better my health, so why the fuck not?

There’s no reason why not. None at all.

Keep fighting, my little eggs that could. You are a dynamic duo indeed!

Egg Retrieval Recap

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This is a long one, so grab your coffee and pull up a chair!

I’ve posted a lot of this on Instagram, so if you don’t follow me on my Instagram account for this blog, why not? Give me a follow here! But if you don’t, you may not know how my retrieval went down. I tend to quick post things there and share to FB when I don’t have the time or energy for a full blog post.

Anyway, I woke up bright and early on Thursday morning. I had to be to the doctor’s office at 6:45 for my 8 AM retrieval. I thought FOR SURE I’d wake up before the alarm from excitement, but nope! True to myself, I was bolted awake by the alarm at 5 AM because that is a time no one should be awake.

I wasn’t allowed to eat or drink anything after midnight the night before, except to take my thyroid meds with a sip of water. I did that and then was overcome with an intense thirst like I was crawling through the desert. I have never craved water more in my life than when they told me I just had to sit there parched for hours.

I dressed in my comfiest clothes and my #BumpSquad shirt to head to the doctor’s office. I knew that shirt would be good luck because I would have all of you with me!

I got to the office about 6:35 and there was a line out the door. The monitoring window for ultrasounds starts at 6:30 and apparently that’s when a lot of people show up. But you get right in. It wasn’t too many people, it was more that there was only one receptionist so check-in was slow.

I wasn’t too freaked out, but just a tad because I didn’t know how long the pre-op stuff would take. And this is all very time sensitive. You ovulate 36 hours after the trigger shot and I needed that all to work out because I didn’t want to end up in the procedure room and them find all the follicles empty.

Side note: I actually read about that happening quite a few times from posts in the FB groups I’m a part of. Those groups can be so amazing and so awful at the same time. Case in point, Wednesday night, right before I was going to bed, a woman in the 40+ IVF group posted about THIS EXACT THING and it being because of the drug she used to suppress ovulation, which, hey! Was the exact same drug I used! And apparently it has less success with women in their 40s. I have NO idea if this is true because I wasn’t about to Google it the night before my retrieval, and it took a whole lot of meditation episodes to get me to calm the fuck down enough to finally get to sleep.

But it all worked out. I’m pretty sure I was the first patient and once I got back into the hospital room, they asked some questions, took my weight and then I changed into the gown and hat and booties. I met the doctor doing the retrieval (she wasn’t my doctor, but she was supposedly very good), talked with the anesthesiologist and got my IV put in. I was given some Tylenol and Zofran for nausea. I got to take the Tylenol with another sip of water and it tasted like heaven.

And then we just waited. Because of the trigger shot, you can’t go in too early, so I just had some time to myself in the room. And then it was go time and things moved VERY QUICKLY!

I was told to go pee, which is not easy to do with an IV bag and gown not tied in the back. After peeing, I was brought into the procedure room, verified my information with the lab and then that was all I remember.

Actually that’s not true. I remember the anesthesiologist telling me she was putting in the drugs and I would start to feel it pretty soon. And I remember that I did start feeling it and I said “oh yeah, I feel it. Wheeeee!” And then that was the last thing I remembered.

The next thing I remember was them waking me up and then making me move from the one bed to the other. And I vaguely remember this from my appendectomy too, but that is not easy to do when you are literally out of it. I could not figure out what they were asking me to do and how to do it. I remember finally saying “oh this is a different bed” and I understood they needed me to scoot over. And so I did.

I was wheeled into the recovery room and given a heating pad for my abdomen. I felt OK. Super groggy, but not too much pain. Kind of like period cramps, which I’m super familiar with. They let me sleep for about another 30 minutes and then they came in and offered me my choice of cookies and juice (I chose shortbread cookies and apple juice, just like giving blood!), and they told me how many eggs were retrieved and what my next steps were.

Three. It was three total eggs retrieved. I was immediately disappointed and may have cried in that dark room alone. I know I’m old and there aren’t many to begin with, but I wanted so many more. Just a few more to increase my odds. It took me awhile to get over that disappointment, but I did. I determined that these were the Three Eggs That Could, the Three Eggmigas!

I was more wondering why only 3 when I had 4 follicles measuring. Did I lose any from the meds, like that one lady on FB? Was Ol’ Lefty hard to reach? Did I ovulate before they could get in there and retrieve them? What about those smaller ones from two days prior?

I still don’t have the answers to this. And I’m hoping I don’t need them. Because I’m hoping and praying it is all a moot point.

I read so much about retrievals, and asked for advice in the groups, and everyone says to drink all the fluids. Chug the Gatorade. And that is because of the risk of the bloating and something called Ovarian Hyper Stimulation Syndrome, which is common when they go in and get like 20-30 eggs. All those follicles release liquid when you ovulate. When it is one, it’s not a big deal, but with 20, that’s a lot of fluid in your belly.

I was not concerned with this AT. ALL. Because I knew at most I would have 7-8. So who cares about bloat? Not this girl! I got home from being dropped off (shout out to my amazing friend Marisue for coming to pick me up and get me!), and went right to sleep for about 4 hours.

This was NOT SMART. I mean, I drank some water, but not much. I was still so tired, I wanted sleep. I should have chugged a thing of Gatorade before going down for a nap.

The bloat is real, friends. It don’t matter how many eggs you get. I have no idea how women with more eggs deal with it. It’s still around, almost a week later. It’s definitely not as bad as the day after. It hurt to walk and I could feel the liquid with every step I took last Friday. But it was better by Saturday, and I think my acupuncture session helped moved things along. I started taking a stool softener to help with that aspect of it. And now, I’m almost back to normal, but know that I probably won’t be until I get my period. And all that shit flushes out.

I got a call from the lab on Friday morning as I was blow drying my hair. Of the three eggmigas, two were mature and two were fertilized. That was a HUGE relief and I was so happy! I was also super relieved that my donor’s swimmers were good and did their jobs!

And now I wait to hear from the lab on Tuesday to see if my #dynamicduo made it to Day 5. That’s what they call a blastocyst and it means that the cells divided enough and the eggs and sperm are now an official embryo. When that happens, then they take a teeny, tiny biopsy of the embryo and they send it off for genetic testing and the embryo is frozen.

The testing takes about 2-3 weeks. After that, we find out if they are normal or abnormal and then we will move on to transferring them!

So keep those #bumpsquad powers activated on the #dynamicduo! They need all our energy to know they are loved and wanted!

Stims Day 8 – TRIGGER DAY

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This feel like Star Trek – Captain’s Log, Star Date 3027.2: Today we defeated the Borg.

Today has been a rollercoaster of emotions, let me tell you.

I had a follow-up ultrasound this morning. I made sure to pee before I left the house, then I peed again before I walked into the office and checked in. But it was PACKED. Like almost every seat taken, so probably close to 30 people? So I waited a bit, which is fine. It was still before 8 and I wasn’t worried. But by the time I got called back for blood work, I had to pee again. So I decided to test their theory and went pee after the blood work and before the ultrasound, hoping they didn’t call my name, but that if they did, they’d just call it again.

I think I timed it well because the other girl who got blood work with me was still sitting in the waiting area once I got back from the bathroom.

And boy am I glad I peed before that ultrasound! Ol’ Lefty (my new name for my left ovary) was NOT having it today. She was mad about my shooting hormones into her and getting all bloated, so she was hiding. The tech couldn’t find her and she had to jam that wand up into me and then push on my belly to help locate Ol’ Lefty. And if I had to pee at all, that would have been a mess.

This tech stood right in front of the TV so I couldn’t see the measurements of the follicles (she probably does this on purpose), so I didn’t get to see much. One was big, like 21 mm it looked like, and she measured several other ones, some less than 10 mm. But things looked good.

But then the panic came in. I don’t know if it was because I couldn’t see things, or my incessant Googling of follicle size and egg retrievals, or just being pumped full of hormones, but I was now super worried that we’d get zero eggs. I’m sure this is normal. It’s just….a lot.

The panic didn’t subside much when I got to work because then I was just waiting to hear back from the doctor. How were the follicles measuring? How were my estrogen levels? When would I have to go back? Would this be the day? What if? What if? What if?

And then my phone rang with a weird 312 number. And I answered it. I never answer calls I don’t know and this wasn’t from the same prefix as my doctor’s office. I’m glad I answered because it was my doctor. I assumed she was calling to cancel this cycle based on the morning’s ultrasound.

She wasn’t.

She was calling because she saw 4 measurable follicles and she wanted to know if that would change my decision about testing the embryos and opting to do a fresh transfer instead of frozen.

I really appreciated this call. Because it’s one thing to make this decision in the office several months ago before you start, and it’s another thing to be knee-deep into it and change your mind. And I wasn’t expecting the call and the option to change my mind, but I knew I wasn’t going to change my mind.

I could write a whole post on it, but I am going to test the embryos, even if it is just one. Doing this as a single mom, I have to know if there are any chromosomal abnormalities in the embryo before transferring. I know there is prenatal testing and I can find things out when I’m pregnant, but I can’t take that risk. I’m 42 years old and my odds for chromosomal abnormalities are high. It is high once you get over 40 and there is another drop once you’re over 42. Doing this alone, I have to be realistic about my abilities at the start of a pregnancy. And yes, I know the testing isn’t 100%. I don’t know that something won’t change once the embryo implants, but I need to know when I’m doing an embryo transfer that it is chromosomally normal. Please don’t try and convince me otherwise. This is my decision and one I have thought long and hard about.

But I did appreciate the call and I did let her know that I will still be testing and she completely understood. And then she told me I’d be triggering tonight and to wait for word from the nurse.

So that now means that my egg retrieval is scheduled for Thursday morning at 8 AM. I’m equally scared and nervous and excited. Nervous-cited, or as my friend Sharona said EGG-CITED.

I did my last stim shots tonight a little over an hour before I did the trigger shot. You trigger 36 hours before retrieval so that all those lovely little eggs don’t ovulate before the doctor goes in there to suck them all out.

This still gives some of those smaller follicles time to mature and I will be sleeping with my legs on the wall to get all the blood flowing to them (not really, but I will be putting my legs up on the wall the next two nights!), and I have an acupuncture session tomorrow night to help!

It’s happening!! And I am indeed EGG-CITED!

Stims Day 6

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I had the whole weekend off this weekend. That literally hasn’t happened since October. I had acupuncture on Saturday morning, like always, and then I had the whole day to do whatever the hell I wanted. It was a very odd feeling. And a really GOOD feeling!

I got coffee! And an eyebrow wax! And walked home! And then deep cleaned the house! I took a NAP! It was all so glorious.

I didn’t get to sleep in on Sunday morning, though, because I had another ultrasound. The window to go for them on the weekends is later, like by an hour, but it still meant I had to set the alarm for 7 AM this morning.

I wore my new socks to this morning’s ultrasound. I need to constantly remind myself how much of a badass I am and that I have GOT THIS.

Saturday night I started to get a lot of cervical mucus. And I freaked out. Because that’s what you get when you are close to ovulating. And I cannot be close to ovulating. I need time to let the follicles grow. This is our year! FOLLICLES 2020!!

Turns out it is completely normal and from all the estrogen I’m pumping into my system. Seriously, thank God for the internet. It is so helpful sometimes.

But the ultrasound went well. I have a lead follicle measuring at 18 mm. And then there are four others between 11-14 mm. They are responding well! I’m very excited!

My estrogen doubled from Friday, so I started a new shot this afternoon, once I got word from the doctor’s office. I’ll have to start this one in the mornings until they tell me otherwise. Basically, it’s to put the brakes on the body from ovulating. It suppresses ovulation so that even though that’s what should be happening, it gives those follicles more time to grow.

I’ll probably lose that lead follicle. It’s pretty big and I think, from what the internet tells me, once it gets to like 20 mm, it’s too mature. So I’m OK sacrificing that one if it means that I have several more that will all mature at the same rate and we can retrieve a bunch when retrieval day comes. And by a bunch, I’m hoping for like eight. Because I’m 42 with diminished ovarian reserve, so I’m still realistic.

I go back on Tuesday morning to see where we are at. And by we, I mean me and my follicles. We’re a team now, in this together. I’m assuming after Tuesday, I’ll go in daily for ultrasounds so they can see what is going on and make sure everything is timed right. As of right now, retrieval could be any day between Thursday and next Monday.

Until then, it’s SHOTS, SHOTS, SHOTS, SHOTS! EVERYBODY!

Stims Day 4

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Look at me, posting on a Friday night! Boy how things have changed from my old blog, where at 10 PM on a Friday night, I’d already be pretty drunk, making bad decisions on my way to making out with some random stranger at a 4 AM bar, most likely.

Man I do NOT miss that.

Now it’s 10 PM on a Friday and I’m in my PJs, just shot myself full of hormones and am going to bed as soon as I hit publish because it’s been a long ass week.

So far everything is going well. I had another ultrasound this morning and things are progressing. My largest follicle is 12 mm and there are “several” others that are measuring less than 10 mm. Apparently that and my blood work means things are progressing, but not too far. Which is all great things!

I was late to this morning’s ultrasound. I couldn’t figure out why there is so much traffic. I used to make it in 20 minutes when I was doing these early morning ultrasounds for my IUIs. And then I realized, that was the summer. Traffic is so much lighter in the summer. So now I know I have to get up earlier to get there earlier for these ultrasounds.

Because I was late, and because I’m trying to make sure I’m hydrated, I had to pee when I got there. But I didn’t want to go and risk not hearing my name called, so I just held it. Then I got back to the ultrasound room and the tech was like “whoa, that’s a full bladder!” And I was thinking “yeah, no shit sherlock!” And apparently full bladders aren’t good for these ultrasounds, so she told me to always have an empty bladder going forward. But the thing is, I used to just use the bathroom before I went into the ultrasound room. But they stopped allowing this. There are big signs “USE RESTROOM BEFORE BEING CALLED BACK”. But no one tells you what happens if you do that and miss your name being called. I’m sure other people don’t worry about that, but I do. So I sit there, with a full bladder, and hope for the best.

Thankfully this tech told me that if they call your name and you’re not there, they just move you down the list a few name and they will call you again. THIS WOULD HAVE BEEN HELPFUL INFORMATION BEFORE! But now I know. And apparently it wasn’t too full because she got pictures of what she needed.

I go back again Sunday morning to see the progress. So much for being able to finally sleep in this weekend because I’m taking a break from Instacart. But at least I can take all the naps!

The shots are going fine. I’m still convinced I’m doing them all wrong and I’m not getting the medicine in the right place (which is completely irrational). After the first night of shots, I had the WORST headache all day on Wednesday. It was awful and Tylenol was doing nothing to help (shocker!). I had read in my FB groups that headaches were a side effect of the medications. And I came very close to having a breakdown because I didn’t think I could handle over 10 days of that headache. I didn’t know if I could work and just get through it. I ended up icing my forehead and the back of my neck before I went to bed and I woke up feeling 100 times better. And since then, no headaches. (Also another reason I’m forcing myself to stay super hydrated.)

My friend told me the same thing happened to her after the first day of meds and then the headache went away and I felt a lot better knowing it was normal and it wasn’t a prolonged side effect.

I’m still battling a cold. And I can’t take anything for it so I’m just mildly miserable at all times. My head is stuffy and for some reason my left eye is tearing up constantly. I don’t know if it is because that is where most of the nasal congestion is or what, but it is irritating. Mostly because I’m constantly wiping my eye and now the skin around my eye is super raw and hurts.

But all is good on the IVF front, and I’m just plugging (or shooting) away. I’ll keep you posted on the next ultrasound! #Follicles2020

And So It Begins…

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I woke up yesterday morning before the alarm. That usually happens and I usually get excited that I don’t have to be up for XX more minutes or several hours. But yesterday morning, I couldn’t go back to sleep. I was too excited!

I finally got up around 5:30 after listening to an IVF meditation to start my day. And my journey.

In the shower I was thinking about all the other times that I’ve had to get up for these early morning ultrasounds. This wasn’t the first one. I’ve done this quite a few times before. But this one felt different.

I was excited to start this! I don’t remember being excited before. Yes, I was always looking forward to the IUIs and getting it started and praying it would work, praying to end up pregnant. But I was never excited. And I was definitely never excited about getting up early to have a vaginal ultrasound.

It didn’t even matter yesterday that I woke up to Lulu pooping outside the litter box, AGAIN, or that my coffee filter malfunctioned and I ended up with a cup of coffee full of grounds, or that there was traffic and I barely made it in time for the ultrasound window. None if it mattered. I was too excited to be getting this all started and was calm knowing I was on my way.

I got called back pretty quickly. There were only a few women there when I rolled in at 7:35. (Note to self, maybe this is the best time to go.) (Also note to self: I’m sure it will be completely different the next time you go back.) I did the ultrasound first. The ultrasound tech was amazing, and we bonded over having our birthdays one day apart – Virgos unite! I told her that my left ovary was a hider, and she had a bit of trouble with it, but she found it.

Final follicle count was 8. Five on the left (she’s a hider, but she’s a producer!) and three on the right. I’m ECSTATIC! That is a lot for me, in my “advanced maternal age”, and that many on Cycle Day 2 is great!

Last night I started the shots and I go back on Friday to see how things are progressing. After that, I’ll probably be going almost daily for ultrasounds, so I’ll be used to that early wake-up time.

I brought my milestone card and had fun taking photos. It made me think “I couldn’t have done this if I was still with the Lying Liar.” He would have made fun of me, enough to the point that I would have not done it at all. I would stop trying to find the joy in these things. And that made me think maybe that’s why I was never excited before. He took my joy out of so many things. And clearly my lack of excitement was my subconscious trying to tell me this was ALL WRONG.

But yesterday morning, I enjoyed every fucking second. And I could not be happier to be doing this WITHOUT him, and by myself.

IVF TOTALLY GOT THIS.

Follicles 2020

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My period started today. I do not think I have ever been so excited to get a period ever in my life. Maybe the only other time was the one random time in my 20s when I wasn’t on the pill and was convinced I was pregnant with some guy’s baby. Oh, if only it had been that easy.

Anyway, now it all begins. I go tomorrow morning for my baseline ultrasound to see how many follicles I have.

My kitten Sammi is just about as excited as I am.

I went and got a bikini wax tonight as a treat because I’m going to have my pants off in front of a lot of people in the next couple of weeks. And let’s just say I’ve let things go since I broke up with the Lying Liar.

My lovely friend at work got me this adorable case to hold my meds in case I’m ever away from home. It was such a lovely gesture.

In her card, she declared our campaign slogan as Follicles 2020, so that’s what we’re focusing on right now! We need as many as we can get and they need to be growing all kinds of healthy eggs!

And now I’m off to bed because the ultrasound hours for this doctor are between 6:30 and 7:45 AM and we all know how hard it is for me to get up!

Wish me luck!

FOLLICLES 2020!!

Quick Hits

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I’m battling my third cold since Christmas right now. I blame it all on the grocery store and working Instacart. Because spending eight hours a day at a grocery store in the height of flu season in the winter in Chicago is GERM CENTRAL. People are gross. And as much as I wipe down my cart and wash my hands and bathe in hand sanitizer, I can’t keep myself illness free.

I had planned on a vacation day on Monday because I spend my whole weekend out of the house and I needed to get some things done, like cleaning and cooking and napping. But I got home from Instacarting on Sunday and I literally passed out and took a three-hour nap and had the chills. So I spent all day Monday in bed sleeping. I was only awake for like 3 hours at a time. I stayed home on Tuesday too because when I got up in the morning and showered, I was exhausted from doing too much. Anyway, it’s been a long, exhausting week.

But I am glad this is all happening now. Because this time next week, I should be in the thick of it with my IVF meds and giving myself shots every day.

My period is due Monday. I’ve been spotting a little the last few days, so it is definitely around the corner and I think it will come before Sunday. But once I start, that means I let the doctor know and the whole process starts!

I’m kind of nervous. I’ve never done this before, obviously, so I don’t know all what to expect. So I think that’s why I’m nervous. But it is definitely an excited nervous! I really can’t wait!

I bought these milestone cards off Etsy to chronicle this journey, and I’m excited to share this with all of you!

LET’S DO THIS!

Alarmy

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If any of you know me, you know that I love sleep more than anything in the world. Even growing up, I would cry if I knew something was going to interfere with my minimum eight hours of sleep needed. We’d be at my grandparents’ house and I’d beg us to leave so I could get home because if we didn’t leave right then, I would only get less than 10 hours of sleep.

I was a peach of a child, I’m sure. My poor mother.

Things have not changed. I can still easily sleep 12-14 hours a night if I was allowed to. If stupid things like work didn’t get in the way.

Not surprisingly, I am NOT a morning person. I cannot get up when the alarm goes off to save my life. I am the queen of the snooze button. I am pretty sure one year for Lent, I gave up the snooze button. I don’t think that lasted too long.

Winter is especially hard because it’s so dark in the morning and my bed is oh so comfortable and warm. Needless to say, I have been having a hard time getting into work on time these days, since I hit snooze like 10 times a morning.

I started turning on the TV when the alarm went off, thinking that it would force me to wake up. Nope, I just fell asleep to the dulcet tones of George Stephanopoulos’ voice, while pretending that the news he was reporting on wasn’t real and it was all a dream.

Years ago I went to find an old digital alarm clock that I could put in the living room, thinking that something that would get me out of bed would make it easier. I ended up finding one at Walgreens and put it in the living room and…it didn’t work. I can easily get up, turn off an alarm and crawl right back into bed and fall asleep.

I even invested in one of those sunrise alarm clocks that is supposed to mimic the sun coming up and wake you up naturally. You know what those things can’t account for? Rolling over so you don’t SEE the light. And then it’s still dark and lovely and there I am, back asleep.

I figured there had to be something better. There are those crazy expensive mats that you have to step on to shut off the alarm. But look, putting my legs over the side of the bed and standing up isn’t going to get me out of bed.

I don’t know if I had an ad for this app, or if I just searched in the app store, but I found this alarm app that has been a game changer. It is called Alarmy. This is not an ad, I’m literally just amazed that I have finally found something that works.

This app makes you do something once the alarm goes off. It could be math problems, or scan a code, or play a memory game or take a photo. I decided to use the photo option and take a photo of something far, far from my bed. I chose my coffee pot.

So the alarm goes off and I can’t snooze. It will just keep going off until I get up and take that photo. And once I’m up, with my glasses on, since I have to take the right photo (it has to be the same one as the one I took when I set up the alarm), I’m up. And I’m right by the coffee pot so I might as well turn it on and then do the rest of my morning routine.

I’ve only been using it for a few days, but I’m really hooked. I have yet to find a loophole, and I don’t want to, because I need to start being a grown up and getting up on time in the morning. Whatever works!