Decisions, Decisions

First off, I want to thank you all for the support. It really warmed my heart. I’ve recently found out someone close to me isn’t supportive at all and having all your love and support means the world to me!

Also, I logged in today and saw all these comments that were held to be approved and yay! I just figured no one commented anymore! You’re all the best!

Anyway, now on to the post!

About three years ago around this time (I only remember because it was right around the election when we thought everything was going to be awful and then it got so. Much. Worse. Anyway, I digress.) I posted my decision that I was going to try and have a baby on my own. I had finally made the decision and I wasn’t getting any younger. At that time, my 40th birthday was fast approaching and the clock was ticking.

I had even talked to my doctor about it and she gave me some resources to contact. I had made the decision to do it, but I didn’t plan to do anything until at least a year after said decision, since I wanted to enjoy my sister’s wedding in Hawaii and I wanted to turn 40 and be able to drink and celebrate and be not pregnant.

I started taking prenatal vitamins and tracking my cycle. I read Taking Charge of Your Fertility. I started monitoring my cycles. I started using ovulation predictor kits to find out when and if I ovulated. I was doing this!

Side note: Every woman should read that book. It’s about so much more than just fertility and trying to get pregnant. It’s really about learning your cycle and your body. You don’t need to take your temp every morning, but you should pay attention to what your body does on a monthly basis. It’s really empowering.

I found out I was very regular. Which I basically knew since my period came like clockwork every month. But I did ovulate every month, and I peed on a lot of those sticks to learn my cycle.

Side note 2: You don’t really pee on a stick. I mean there are some brands that you can pee directly on, but those are expensive. Most of them are these little, thin sticks that remind me of fifth-grade science class. (What is the PH of this liquid?) So you basically pee in a lot of cups and then dip the stick into your pee. It’s really as glamorous as it sounds. But those little sticks are WAY cheaper than the fancy ones I need to pee on.

Side note 3: IT IS NOT SUPER EASY TO PEE ON ANY STICK, just an FYI. Even when I had a fancy pregnancy test, I still peed in the cup and dipped it in. It’s just easier. Especially if you’re like me and just ended up peeing all over yourself.

Side note 4: In case you’re unaware, I’m going to be talking a lot about bodily functions here on this new blog. Urine! Blood! Cervical Mucus! Vaginas! Get used to it!

Anyway, where was I? I literally have no idea. I had to get up to pee after all that talk and have completely lost my train of thought.

Oh, right, having a baby on my own. So yeah, literally three years ago was when I really made the decision. I had told my mom and my family. All were so supportive! (I was actually kind of scared of their reactions.) My doctor was also super supportive! Well, she’s a nurse midwife, but I’ve been seeing her since 2006, so she was STOKED!

And then I didn’t really do much, besides learn my cycle and pee in a lot of cups. Like I mentioned, I wasn’t really planning to do anything until after my 40th birthday the following year.

And then in June of that following year, I met who I thought was my soulmate. The day we met, I asked him if he wanted babies (yep! Sure did!). He said yes AND didn’t run away screaming. I thought I hit the jackpot. (Reader, she did not hit the jackpot, unless it was the JACKPOT OF LIES.)

Our relationship was pretty new, but we still weren’t trying NOT to get pregnant. We tried naturally for probably around a year or so. It wasn’t every month because SPOILER ALERT! planning sex around fertile days is not very romantic at all.

But it never worked. So finally at my lady doctor appointment in March of this year, I told my nurse and she gave me a referral to an reproductive endocrinologist. (I actually thought I was pregnant at this time, so was only really asking just on the very slight chance I wasn’t pregnant.) (Ha ha, reader! She wasn’t even remotely pregnant.)

And that is where the next phase of this journey will pick up in the next post!