I woke up yesterday morning before the alarm. That usually happens and I usually get excited that I don’t have to be up for XX more minutes or several hours. But yesterday morning, I couldn’t go back to sleep. I was too excited!
I finally got up around 5:30 after listening to an IVF meditation to start my day. And my journey.
In the shower I was thinking about all the other times that I’ve had to get up for these early morning ultrasounds. This wasn’t the first one. I’ve done this quite a few times before. But this one felt different.
I was excited to start this! I don’t remember being excited before. Yes, I was always looking forward to the IUIs and getting it started and praying it would work, praying to end up pregnant. But I was never excited. And I was definitely never excited about getting up early to have a vaginal ultrasound.
It didn’t even matter yesterday that I woke up to Lulu pooping outside the litter box, AGAIN, or that my coffee filter malfunctioned and I ended up with a cup of coffee full of grounds, or that there was traffic and I barely made it in time for the ultrasound window. None if it mattered. I was too excited to be getting this all started and was calm knowing I was on my way.
I got called back pretty quickly. There were only a few women there when I rolled in at 7:35. (Note to self, maybe this is the best time to go.) (Also note to self: I’m sure it will be completely different the next time you go back.) I did the ultrasound first. The ultrasound tech was amazing, and we bonded over having our birthdays one day apart – Virgos unite! I told her that my left ovary was a hider, and she had a bit of trouble with it, but she found it.
Final follicle count was 8. Five on the left (she’s a hider, but she’s a producer!) and three on the right. I’m ECSTATIC! That is a lot for me, in my “advanced maternal age”, and that many on Cycle Day 2 is great!
Last night I started the shots and I go back on Friday to see how things are progressing. After that, I’ll probably be going almost daily for ultrasounds, so I’ll be used to that early wake-up time.
I brought my milestone card and had fun taking photos. It made me think “I couldn’t have done this if I was still with the Lying Liar.” He would have made fun of me, enough to the point that I would have not done it at all. I would stop trying to find the joy in these things. And that made me think maybe that’s why I was never excited before. He took my joy out of so many things. And clearly my lack of excitement was my subconscious trying to tell me this was ALL WRONG.
But yesterday morning, I enjoyed every fucking second. And I could not be happier to be doing this WITHOUT him, and by myself.
IVF TOTALLY GOT THIS.
That’s an awesome baseline!
Yay! Yay! Yay! (I just audibly cheered you on, and I had to answer my husband that I was excited for a friend I never met! Haha). Anyway, obvs, I don’t know you, but I do KNOW you clearly got this!!! So excited for you and so excited that you are this excited and it is all working out!
Yay! Just yay about everything!!! ❤️
I’m so glad you got rid of the lying liar and you can just be yourself! The cards and blogging is awesome so we can all keep up on what’s going on. Love all of this and keeping my fingers crossed!!
How do I LIKE LIKE LIKE this post! Woo hoo- so excited with you!
I love the little cards, they’re such a great idea and a cute way to document it. (Extra poop on the lying liar…. people who Yuck people’s Yum, to quote Swistle, are just the worst.)