My Neck, My Back

I mentioned last week that I got an MRI. I threw out my back right before Thanksgiving and it hasn’t been right since then. What was I doing when I threw it out, you ask? Putting clothes in the washing machine. Isn’t getting older grand?

I’ve had back pain before, but nothing like this. I was in tears and couldn’t move. Going to the bathroom was a feat and I was trying not to eat or drink so I could limit the amount of time I had to spend squatting down to the toilet. I thought for sure I was going to rip the doorknob out of the door since that was the thing I used as leverage to get up and down. God, I never want to have to go through that again.

I’m so thankful that we have telehealth as part of my insurance because I was able to talk to a doctor and get a prescription for a steroid to help the next morning. And I was even more thankful for the car that I now had because I didn’t have to figure out how to get to the pharmacy to pick up the prescription.

Funny side story related to this: two days after I threw my back out, as I was hopped up on Norco and all of the pain meds, I was awoken by someone knocking on my front door. It was about 10 AM on Sunday morning (I threw my back out Friday late afternoon). My first thought in my drugged haze was “who the fuck is knocking on my door in a pandemic?” So I ignored it. But then I heard voices and what sounded like a walkie talkie/radio. So I was like “maybe I should see what’s going on”.

So in my PJs, with extreme bed head, having just taken some Norco an hour prior and feeling the effects, I whipped open my front door to……a bunch of firemen and my neighbors. Apparently someone smelled gas on our floor and they were wanting to see if it was coming from my unit. (It wasn’t.)

But thankfully I did open it because they ended up busting down the doors of two of my neighbors with AN AXE because they weren’t home (and they also weren’t the source of the leak, how shitty is that?). I’m VERY thankful I didn’t end up waking up to THAT.

Anyway, the steroids helped, but my back wasn’t completely healed. I was able to move around, which was GREAT, but my back was still pretty sore. And on top of the back pain, I was getting shooting pain down my leg, which is as awful as it sounds. I went to the doctor and she suggested physical therapy, to see if it would help.

I did 6 weeks of physical therapy and still do the stretches/exercises at home, but I’m still having super sharp pain in my back that shoots down my leg whenever I stand or walk. My doctor wanted to get an MRI to see what is going on exactly, and where, and to discuss next steps. The X-Ray showed a herniated disc, which makes sense, and it’s pushing on a nerve, so we will see what happens. In the meantime, I’m getting abs of steel from all the abs exercises I’m doing to help.

Have you ever had an MRI? It is NOT a pleasant experience. All my knowledge of them came from watching Grey’s Anatomy. So I knew it was a narrow tube and you had to stay still. That was all I wanted to know. I didn’t want to freak myself out at all. And I’m glad I didn’t, because I probably wouldn’t have been able to do it.

Now let me preface this by the fact that I am not claustrophobic at all. Or at least I wouldn’t consider myself claustrophobic. But I feel like instead of asking you beforehand if you’re claustrophobic, they should be like “imagine you’re trapped in a coffin, would that give you anxiety?” Because THAT is what an MRI is like. 

I was most worried about staying still. Because lying flat on my back is super painful and I wasn’t sure I’d be able to do that without moving. And I was right to worry because it was painful. They gave me a wedge to put under my legs, which helped for like 10 minutes, so the last 20 minutes was almost unbearable. But I didn’t move.

But then as they slid the table into that tube, and the wall of the tube was like right in front of my nose, I had to close my eyes. I had to forget the fact that there was no room for me in there, so I kept my eyes closed the whole time. I was afraid if I opened them, I’d hyperventilate and lose my shit.

They asked me before if I wanted to take off my mask. I said no. Not thinking that I would be trapped in a coffin for 30 minutes and want to be able to breathe freely. Note to self, take the mask off next time!

Hopefully this will be the only one I ever have. I’m still waiting to hear back from my doctor about the results (which reminds me it’s been a week so I should reach out to her and see what the deal is), but hopefully it isn’t anything too bad. My sister has horrible back problems and has had several surgeries, so I know how awful back problems can be.

This will teach me to do anything besides sitting on my ass. Damn you chores!