Stims Day 8 – TRIGGER DAY

This feel like Star Trek – Captain’s Log, Star Date 3027.2: Today we defeated the Borg.

Today has been a rollercoaster of emotions, let me tell you.

I had a follow-up ultrasound this morning. I made sure to pee before I left the house, then I peed again before I walked into the office and checked in. But it was PACKED. Like almost every seat taken, so probably close to 30 people? So I waited a bit, which is fine. It was still before 8 and I wasn’t worried. But by the time I got called back for blood work, I had to pee again. So I decided to test their theory and went pee after the blood work and before the ultrasound, hoping they didn’t call my name, but that if they did, they’d just call it again.

I think I timed it well because the other girl who got blood work with me was still sitting in the waiting area once I got back from the bathroom.

And boy am I glad I peed before that ultrasound! Ol’ Lefty (my new name for my left ovary) was NOT having it today. She was mad about my shooting hormones into her and getting all bloated, so she was hiding. The tech couldn’t find her and she had to jam that wand up into me and then push on my belly to help locate Ol’ Lefty. And if I had to pee at all, that would have been a mess.

This tech stood right in front of the TV so I couldn’t see the measurements of the follicles (she probably does this on purpose), so I didn’t get to see much. One was big, like 21 mm it looked like, and she measured several other ones, some less than 10 mm. But things looked good.

But then the panic came in. I don’t know if it was because I couldn’t see things, or my incessant Googling of follicle size and egg retrievals, or just being pumped full of hormones, but I was now super worried that we’d get zero eggs. I’m sure this is normal. It’s just….a lot.

The panic didn’t subside much when I got to work because then I was just waiting to hear back from the doctor. How were the follicles measuring? How were my estrogen levels? When would I have to go back? Would this be the day? What if? What if? What if?

And then my phone rang with a weird 312 number. And I answered it. I never answer calls I don’t know and this wasn’t from the same prefix as my doctor’s office. I’m glad I answered because it was my doctor. I assumed she was calling to cancel this cycle based on the morning’s ultrasound.

She wasn’t.

She was calling because she saw 4 measurable follicles and she wanted to know if that would change my decision about testing the embryos and opting to do a fresh transfer instead of frozen.

I really appreciated this call. Because it’s one thing to make this decision in the office several months ago before you start, and it’s another thing to be knee-deep into it and change your mind. And I wasn’t expecting the call and the option to change my mind, but I knew I wasn’t going to change my mind.

I could write a whole post on it, but I am going to test the embryos, even if it is just one. Doing this as a single mom, I have to know if there are any chromosomal abnormalities in the embryo before transferring. I know there is prenatal testing and I can find things out when I’m pregnant, but I can’t take that risk. I’m 42 years old and my odds for chromosomal abnormalities are high. It is high once you get over 40 and there is another drop once you’re over 42. Doing this alone, I have to be realistic about my abilities at the start of a pregnancy. And yes, I know the testing isn’t 100%. I don’t know that something won’t change once the embryo implants, but I need to know when I’m doing an embryo transfer that it is chromosomally normal. Please don’t try and convince me otherwise. This is my decision and one I have thought long and hard about.

But I did appreciate the call and I did let her know that I will still be testing and she completely understood. And then she told me I’d be triggering tonight and to wait for word from the nurse.

So that now means that my egg retrieval is scheduled for Thursday morning at 8 AM. I’m equally scared and nervous and excited. Nervous-cited, or as my friend Sharona said EGG-CITED.

I did my last stim shots tonight a little over an hour before I did the trigger shot. You trigger 36 hours before retrieval so that all those lovely little eggs don’t ovulate before the doctor goes in there to suck them all out.

This still gives some of those smaller follicles time to mature and I will be sleeping with my legs on the wall to get all the blood flowing to them (not really, but I will be putting my legs up on the wall the next two nights!), and I have an acupuncture session tomorrow night to help!

It’s happening!! And I am indeed EGG-CITED!