16 Weeks

This week 3BB is the size of an avocado! 

Mmmmmm, guacamole.

I had a doctor’s appointment this week and to say it wasn’t the greatest is an understatement.

I have an elevated A1C level and have for a few years. Back in mid-2020, the fertility doctor put me on Metformin to help keep it down and to hopefully decrease my chances of getting gestational diabetes. I’m not in the diabetic range, but I’m getting close to the pre-diabetic range. Plus with my age, I’m at an increased risk for gestational diabetes. 

Because of this, my midwife decided to have me do the glucose test at 16 weeks. Because if my sugars were elevated, they wanted to control it as soon as possible. And we didn’t even bother with the one-hour test, we jumped right to the three-hour test.

I had that test Wednesday morning. I was really dreading it, for so many reasons. One, everyone says how awful the glucose drink is (spoiler alert: it’s not bad at all) and two, I was worried about taking in all that sugar and not being able to eat and then passing out. That did not happen either. And then I was super worried about actually being diagnosed with gestational diabetes because I have been living on carbs the last 15 weeks, what the hell am I going to eat?

This wasn’t helped by the fact that last Friday I had my physical with my primary doctor. The only reason I had to go see her was because I get a discount on my health insurance at work if we do certain things throughout the year, one of them being an annual physical.

I’ve always liked this doctor. She’s been my PCP since like 2006. But after this last appointment, I think I’m in the market for a new PCP. She was just snippy with me the whole appointment. She said I should NOT be taking metformin while I was pregnant and that I was doing serious harm to my unborn child since it is not a proven drug in pregnancy (this is not true). I told her that I had already discussed it with my midwife and she discussed it with a doctor and told me to keep taking it. She would not let up. I finally was like “look, I will express your concerns to my other medical team, but it was discussed and I was told to keep taking it. Many pregnant people take it.” She didn’t believe that. 

Now I understand that as a PCP you have to be knowledgeable about lots of things. But I don’t know that you are up to date with every recent study regarding medicines. I trust that the FERTILITY doctor who prescribed it knew what she was doing, and that my midwife and the maternal fetal medicine doctors were also well-versed in the research when they told me NOT to stop taking it.

After that, I thought the appointment would be OK. But then she got to diet and exercise and then shamed me because I was eating so many carbs. Look lady, I don’t know if you’ve ever had nausea in pregnancy, but if all you can stomach is carbs, then eat the carbs. It’s better than not eating or just eating and puking. 

Anyway, the appointment left a really sour taste in my mouth and I think next year I will be seeing another doctor in the practice.

Fast forward to this week and the glucose test. First off, the drink is no big deal. It tastes like flat pop or like extra sugary Gatorade. I had the lemon-lime flavor and downed it just fine. As one of the nurses commented as I was finishing it “I’ve had lots of alcohol that’s tasted worse!” #truth

I felt fine. The worst is sitting around for the blood tests every hour. Thankfully my doctor could fit me in for my 16-week appointment while I was waiting to kill two birds with one stone.

My appointment was with my midwife that I used to see (the one who has been doing my annual exams for the last 15 years), since my current midwife was out of the office this week. The appointment was fine. 3BB was shy and we couldn’t find her on the doppler, which scared me at first, but then we got out the ultrasound and there she was, just chillin. She was waving her little hand at the camera and moving around! I was really happy we couldn’t find her heartbeat because I got to see her! It had been like a month since my last ultrasound. Her heart was beating away and she was, yet again, showing off for the camera (probably from all the glucose!). So she’s doing just fine and healthy as an avocado.

Later that afternoon I got the results of my glucose test. They were not good. My levels on 3 of the 4 blood draws were super elevated, which meant I had gestational diabetes. I was going to be referred to a dietician and a nurse practitioner in the maternal fetal medicine department that deals with diabetes. 

I am not lying when I say I sobbed uncontrollably for a few hours. I felt like I let 3BB down and can’t even provide her a safe home for 9 months. I was scared about what I would be able to eat because vegetables are still not my favorite thing to eat, nor is any kind of meat/protein really. The idea of measuring and tracking food was really upsetting because one thing pregnancy had given me is a handle on intuitive eating. I eat when I’m hungry and that has been working since I’ve only gained a couple pounds. I can feel myself undoing 25-plus years of disordered eating. And I really don’t want to throw all that out the window.

I know how to eat for this “diet” because I’ve done low-carb/Paleo diets before. Deep down, I know these are the best diets for me because I do feel my best when I’m limiting carbs, especially refined and processed carbs. But I was really hoping this was going to be one time in my life that I wasn’t going to have to worry and track and measure my food. 

The nurse reached out and I have an appointment with the dietician next week. And then a follow up with the nurse the week after. I am the proud owner of a new, trusty glucose monitor and will have to prick my finger 4 times a day.

I’m praying I can control this with diet (and I think I can), because the next thing would be insulin shots every day and I really, really don’t want to do that. And I know in the grand scheme of things, this is small and just a blip. Many pregnant women get gestational diabetes and it is unrelated to their weight and/or diet. But still, it’s going to be a long 24 weeks.

But as my sister pointed out, 3BB just wants to remind me she’s there and keep things interesting. Who wants to read a blog post every week about how easy a pregnancy is?

I’m starting to feel bigger and feel like this photo is starting to show a bump. But this was also after I ate Chipotle, so it’s probably just bloating from the burrito bowl.

Finally, thank you all for the love and support on my last post! I know that 3BB is already so loved and cared for. And I will tell her all the time how she is not just my baby, but the internet’s baby.

Oh! I added links to my registries in the side bar to the right. A lot of you have asked so I thought I’d link there. There is no pressure, I just wanted to put it out there. And let’s be honest, I’m doing this by myself, so I’m not going to turn down any gifts. It takes a village, indeed.

#3BBOnBoard